What Public Speaking Anxiety Is Often About
Public speaking anxiety is not like other phobias. Often the fear is mistaken for a fear of:
looking stupid
forgetting what to say
being criticised
making mistakes in front of others etc.
And while those fears can absolutely be part of the picture, they are often not what keeps the anxiety going.
For many people, the real fear becomes something else entirely: the fear of anxiety itself.
The fear of having a panic attack.
The fear of anxiety symptoms showing up.
The fear of losing control in front of other people.
Ironically, it is often this fear that creates the very anxiety people are trying so hard to avoid. Essentially it’s the fear of experiencing anxiety symptoms, right there, in THAT place, with THOSE people, because of what that might mean socially and/or professionally.
When Public Speaking Stops Being About The Audience
Most people I work with know their subject, can speak well one-to-one and are intelligent, capable, and often highly successful.
Yet the moment attention turns towards them, their focus shifts. Instead of thinking about their message, they start monitoring themselves.
Questions appear such as:
What if I panic?
What if my mind goes blank?
What if they notice I'm anxious?
What if I can't stop shaking?
What if I embarrass myself?
At that point, the audience is no longer the main source of fear. The audience is just context. The anxiety becomes the threat.
The Fear of Fear
This is what is called "fear of fear". It happens when the brain starts treating anxiety symptoms themselves as dangerous.
You may notice:
your heart beating faster
feeling hot
dizziness
shaky hands
a dry mouth
tunnel vision
feeling detached or unreal
These are common anxiety symptoms when public speaking. The problem is, the brain interprets them as signs that something terrible is about to happen, meaning anxiety rapidly escalates into feeling out-of-control.
A thought appears:
"Oh no. It's happening."
The body then responds with more alarm.
More adrenaline is released.
The symptoms become stronger.
The brain notices the stronger symptoms and interprets them as further evidence of danger.
A vicious cycle begins.
The fear creates the symptoms.
The symptoms create more fear.
Why The Nervous System Treats Anxiety As Dangerous
From a nervous system perspective, this makes sense. The brain is designed to learn from threat - whether that threat is real or not.
If previous experiences of panic, humiliation, embarrassment, or feeling exposed felt overwhelming, the brain may begin trying to prevent those experiences from happening again.
It learns:
"Anxiety is dangerous."
"Feeling visible is dangerous."
"I can’t control my own emotions"
The problem is that the brain often struggles to distinguish between discomfort and actual danger. A racing heart becomes interpreted as a threat rather than simply a stress response.
The body starts reacting to its own reactions..
Breaking The Cycle
The goal is not to eliminate anxiety completely, trying to force anxiety away often strengthens the struggle. Some mild anxiety is often also helpful.
Instead, recovery involves helping the nervous system learn something new:
a racing heart is uncomfortable and will pass
anxiety symptoms can be tolerated and will pass
panic does not mean catastrophe
you can feel anxious and still speak
anxiety is not visible like you think it is
Paradoxically, when people stop fearing the anxiety itself, the anxiety often begins to lose its grip. If you’re reading this you’re probably in the grip of this, and a situation where you don’t fear anxiety itself, or the idea of it going away seems ridiculous. But I promise it’s true - the moment you do not fear anxiety, you no longer have anticipatory anxiety, because there is nothing to anticipate when the fear is of anxiety itself. You can enter the stage calm, collected and assured.
The nervous system no longer needs to fight so hard against its own sensations.
Sometimes the thing that keeps fear alive is not the audience.
It is the fear of feeling afraid.